Toxicity disguised as chemistry

Chemistry is often a sign of familiar unconscious toxic patterns connecting between 2 people

Sure chemistry can be a good thing if we have a history of healthy relationships but so often chemistry ( especially without a sound emotional connection) is actually our internalized trauma conditioning aligning to another’s.

When we keep attracting the same type of people that then elicit the same emotions within us such as fear, insecurity, anxiety, depression, sadness ( even though chemistry is great ) what is really happening is your inner child is needing your attention & screaming out to be seen and heard !

In these scenarios you end up attaching fast & becoming clingy needy & desperately trying to get their approval or love because of your inner child needing to feel safe

It’s why the adult” you “can say what am I doing ?

Here’s what to do
Notice this pattern, become self aware of your relationships , the emotional states you tend to feel..,
Are you living in anger, worry,
I’s your mood dependent on how the other person treats you?
Start a conversation with your inner child, ask her/ him what they need
Take small steps each day by becoming more present and recognizing your need to be attached
This is how you begin to heal & dismantle old conditioning just keeps you in your wounded inner child

I teach this in my 1.1 program
Healing your inner child is one of the most powerful ways in transforming your relationships

Tell me with a ❤️if this resonates

He’s not in the mood, right?

I have experienced the silent treatment, the manipulation, the aggression because I wasn’t in the mood ! Pretty awful right ? Gosh the control. Eww those toxic connections 😟

Here’s the thing no one wants to have sex with someone who is unpredictable, angry, self serving, and cruel
Maybe we can do it for a while ( usually cos we believe they can change ) but it soon wears thin esp when we realise they ain’t ever going to change and so it becomes a ~~ no thanks ~ and boy do they hate it when those boundaries go down

Healthy love on the other hand is a different story
Being with someone who sees you
Who wants to be emotionally close
Means you can be yourself &
It’s not about JUST the sex

After I survived that last final toxic hell relationship
It put me off men for a while
Even now I can spot a man who is primarily after that one thing
And because of my past I will not go there meaning a purely physical connection is
A ❌❌❌❌for me

But I love there are good men out there who are looking for real connections & not just sex

Tell me if you relate to this my loves
Have you experienced this scenario ?

Choose a partner who is easy on you

Nothing feels better than being with someone who is gentle with you, who is easy with you

I have experienced toxic
I have also experienced healthy love

One thing that stands out is how easy it feels when you are treated well

Having a partner willing to hold space for you
Who supports you and makes things better in your life not worse

I don’t miss the fights the overreactions the uncertainty toxic brings ~ it never felt safe

Sharing my feelings always ended in an argument. That right there is wrong!

I get it now, I know what I deserve, I know what I want 😍

Tell me what you most need in a relationship in the comments below!

Can’t share your feelings? you’re not alone

Every time I opened my heart to share my feelings the relationship came to a grinding halt & it only got worse, he hated it

He would invalidate my feelings & tell me it wasn’t as bad as I was saying, he would tell me I was too sensitive, over reacting, or the one liner he loved to use and I hated the most, which was “ your not the only one that feels that , we have all gone through shit “

Ughh it was awful! It made me feel worthless

What’s worse I didn’t realise at the time how emotionally damaging it was sharing space with someone who would make me feel bad about sharing my vulnerable self

It was lonely ! I knew it was something that could not continue

You too my loves do not have to put up with shitty unavailable partners

Having people who want to be there, hold space for you, comfort you is what real loving partners do

Sharing your feelings authentically should never end in an argument, if it does you are living in an emotionally abusive situation my loves

Tell me if you have experienced this situation in the comments, what was it like for you ❤️

Good news is. You don’t have to stay in this situation 😍I’m here for you

You matter, a lot

You matter … a lot ! Take that in my dear ❤️

The way you feel right now in this moment, the way you feel as you fall to sleep & awaken

Your fears, your dreams, your worries, your happiness
It all matters

I want you to be your own best friend
I want you to look in the mirror and tell that person, I love you

Be gentle on you
Be strong for you
Be kind too you

I see you❤️


PS for those asking ~ I take people on an inward journey of radical healing so that they can know them self deeply & create a life they love on their terms!
Reach out if you want to have a life changing experience

Desperately chasing is a trauma response

I spent years living like this
Chasing love
Needing love
Wanting love
I never realised that these desperate needs were a trauma response coming from my wounded child, desperately seeking to feel loved wanted safe
Can you relate my loves ?

Here’s the thing it’s not until we end up in certain relationship dynamics that these wounds make themself seen

Showing up as anxiety, insecurity, jealousy
sadness and so on, we also believe that finding a man or partner is the answer & cling and chase the wrong ones desperately hoping to not feel so alone

So what do you do ?

You make a choice to become intensely aware of who you are, & change your current patterns and heal the parts of yourself that are allowing this to be your normal ~ chasing relentlessly pursuing is not ‘

Chasing after a man & usually the Wrong one will at best not give you that life you keep dreaming about instead it keeps you locked into your trauma & I do not want that for you

I want you FREE!

Ask me anything will answer in comments

If you are ready to take a giant leap in your healing then my 1.1 program is for you 😁❤️
Dm for details🧘‍♀️


The sad truth is, they are not the best for you

The sad truth is the people that we fight to hold on to or the ones we chase are not the best for us.

They usually represent our past, meaning energetically that persons behavior towards you triggers past memories in which you were not seen heard or validated?

It may have been reoccurring or occasional but it impacted you and you formed a belief. Now as the adult you, you unconsciously attract men to your life that elicit the exact same emotions in you as a kid so you then cling and even beg as you have created a blue print match to that early memory, you want that person to see you, acknowledge you like how you wished when you were. Kid ( this is your inner child)

So what can you do
🌹you become aware of this pattern and ask who is this person I am hanging onto reminding me of, usually a father or a mother figure and then tell them how you feel ~ say it out loud
🌹then place your hand over your heart & tell your younger self I love you, you are safe
🌹recognize that this person you are chasing is a catalyst for you to heal, make this about you and healing rather than getting that person to do what you think you need ~ the healing is within you to do

For more on healing & working with me
DM for your free discovery call

I see you
Sally ❤️

You need to see things as they are!

My loves I know how hard it is when you want things to be different, it’s hard to accept things as they are sometimes
You hoped & wished things were different. You saw glimpses of what could have been a great relationship but you also saw the red flags over & over
I know for me and my life it was realizing exactly this. My sad heart my disappointment was in me expecting him to be WHO I NEEDED ! I couldn’t accept who he was, I hanged on to an idea ! When I realized he was NEVER going to change, this is who he is I knew.! I knew that i was torturing myself & I knew I had to accept he was never going to be what I really wanted !

Have you had this or a similar experience?

Are you hoping a certain someone will be how you hope? And what if they never can?

Please share ❤️

Stop trying to figure out if he’s interested!

Hello my loves, how much time have you spent trying to figure out if they are interested or not ?

When they are you know it 💯

There is no second-guessing, no wondering, no anything other than their actions speak

Hoping someone sees you means you are looking at the wrong person, so go where the love is

If you are trying to figure out those mixed messages
It’s a no!
Don’t waste another day. Instead, invest in people who want to invest in you.

He is never going to change!

He is never going to change !

How many times have you found yourself banking on the potential of person as opposed to seeing them for what they are?

How many times do you ask yourself where the Hek do I stand with them?
It’s a head trip right ? And yes it happens the other way around too …( male clients be like hey lol) but …

We cling to our hopes don’t we rather than seeing things for what they are
We make excuses
We give away our power essentially
Until we are at the mercy of whatever it is THEY DECIDE

We cling to a dream! We don’t want to accept that half the time we are dealing with a very toxic situation and deep down we know where we stand which isn’t very high up the ladder on their life at all or we wouldn’t be in this loop
to start with !
The reality is this my love , they don’t change & asking where do I stand means you already have you answer !
You just gotta begin the new path ( which I offer in my programs as well )
I know it can sound harsh but don’t waste any more time my love !
Take your power back😍

Oh & Ask yourself
Is this what I dreamed about having my whole life ? Hmmm
Grab your free meditation in my bio that will begin to re write your future
🦋💕ps. I love you